What is a Catholic Marriage? A Bar Too High? V

III. Love= sincerely seeking the good of the other. Sincere gift of self. EV #80-81[1]

Couples stayed together 5 yrs later after turmoil are happier. Outwards sign day to day life lived with one another. Only in death will see the love always there sealed by a blessing, announced the angels.

Once upon a time, pealing of the bells joyous, happiness entered in through sacrament, as opposed to one toll of the bell.

Young Love & Old Love

Holding of hands instinctively, deferral of the self, self-sacrifice habituated and normative, long for their good, habit instilled lived life flow is peaceful and pleasant, generally happy.

Look at sorrowful, a bit of pride yoke was not too tight, one yielded to the other and made it through.

Marriage must be of long duration, efficacy of other sacraments, person receive outward sign has assurance of full grace. Marriage beautiful in its duration, every minute call upon the grace same as in that moment as at the wedding Mass. Astounding!

  1. Holy obedience to husbands, respect for wives

Fr. Rengers, O.F.M.Cap. presents the case from both reason and revelation why the man or husband should be the head of the family and why, in the words of St. Paul wives should be submissive to their husbands.


Homiletic & Pastoral Review


29-32 & 50-53


Ignatius Press, December 1999

The Family Needs A Head

It is not hard to get people to agree that parents have true authority. It is especially difficult in our modern society to get people to agree that the family must have a head. There must be in the family one person to make some filial choices. In short, we are saying that the husband and father is the head of the family and has a true authority over the wife. He has the right to command. This does not mean universally, indiscriminately, but in a defined area.

To define this area requires discussion by the individual husband and wife. This does not mean that the area is completely to be determined by subjective mutual agreement. The nature of things according to God’s plans will demand some priorities for the husband and some for the wife. The bonum fidei, the good of the faith, for instance will have to have a priority of choice. Moral good must have a priority over economic advantage. But a large part of the area will differ for different couples, according to their own agreement.

Eventually the area will be determined. Within this area, then, the wife owes obedience to the husband. He has the right to command, which means to make the choice.

The reasons for saying that the husband and father exercise a true authority are logical and theological. The logical are derived from reason. The theological reasons are based on revelation as given in Holy Scripture. First, we will examine the logical reasons for the need of a head of the family.

[Must be some level of headship, divorced from procreative element difficult to oneness of body, soul then harder for oneness of mind. Enamored of own self-will]

[1] https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_25031995_evangelium-vitae.html  accessed July 5, 2022

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